The Drive

I love to drive. I know that if you read my tweets during my early morning commutes or during my evening drive home you may find that hard to believe, but I really do love to drive. Wait...hold on....let me be a little more specific. I love to drive on an open road in a car that has some get up and go. I am not that guy driving down the highway at mach 1, but I do prefer to go 70 instead of 55 when its legal to do so. That is one thing I honestly enjoy about my drive.
My drive to and from work is an hour each way and I almost always hit traffic. So, while at work dreading the inevitable rush hour(s) commute, I figured that I would plot out a quicker way home. See, when I first got this job I went to map quest, put my address, put in my new company address, and followed directions the best that I could: 70 <> 270 <> Olive Blvd. That was the "quickest" way. I soon found out that I was wrong! What was suppose to be about a 45 minute drive each way turned into a hour or more each way. See what I thought was going to be the easy way, turned into the hard way.
Kind of a stretch, but God really pointed some things out to me during this time. I plotted a new route, and shaved about 10 minutes off my drive each way, but added about 10 more miles. Sometimes the path of least resistance is actually the hardest way to go, and sometimes the what looks like the best way to go from point A to point B is actually the worst decision you should make. I figured how to get to work, I just depended on something else (map quest) to make my decision for me. I know how to read a map, I just chose the quickest way and it cost me the most amount of time.
Since this lesson, I have found myself examining how and why I do things the way I do. Some people think the status quo is okay. "It is what I have done all my life." I am tired of that excuse. I have also sinned all my life, but it isn't an excuse to keep making the same mistakes. "I don't like change". Then you misunderstand God, because He is the one who called you to turn away from your evil ways, who called you to change everything you know about love, life, and how to be. I needed this fresh look and new perspective. It moved me. It inspired me to find out how to have a better relationship with Christ, with my wife, and with the people I know the most. So...are you taking the quickest way or are you taking God's way?

Watch this....

This is the what the church should be. Forget your sterotypes, who you think steals the spotlight and represents the christian community....this is the church and this is the change the church is fighting for. Watch the video...

Courage and Commitment

Matthew 4:18-22
18 One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers—Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew—throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. 19 Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” 20 And they left their nets at once and followed him. 21 A little farther up the shore he saw two other brothers, James and John, sitting in a boat with their father, Zebedee, repairing their nets. And he called them to come, too. 22 They immediately followed him, leaving the boat and their father behind.

After I came home from basic training, I remember going to a restaurant to eat with my some of my family. I went my my new class A uniform, ready to show off what I had accomplished. In between bites of food that I was eating faster than what most people could blink, an older man came up to me, grabbed my hand and said, "Son, you're a courageous hero. Thank you for everything you do." I in turn thanked him and went back to my meal. I was 19 at the time and had no idea what he was talking about. I hadn't done anything besides miss some sleep. I didn't understand and to be honest I still don't understand it. When people say those things to me, I just thank them back and go on about my day.
I spent years ignoring my call into ministry. It was either "I'm too young." or "I can't handle that kind of responsibility.". I was really good at coming up with excuses. If you want to see courage, take a look at the verses about when Jesus called His disciples. Man, now that is courage. There have been many times where God has called me to do something, and I blatantly ignore Him. That isn't courage, that's cowardice. The Army taught me how to fight, how to survive, put me through the training and told me when I was ready. God, in his infinite wisdom, calls you to something, already knowing you are ready and just wants you to say yes.
A couple of months ago, I finally gained the courage to say yes to God. I met with my local church board (not nearly as scary as I thought it would be), who prayed over me and committed with me to hold me accountable for my decision to follow God's calling. I ask that you do the same thing. The next four years are going to be difficult for me. I, just like the disciples, have no idea where the next step are going to lead to for Sarah and I. I do know that God has enough love and wisdom to call me to ministry and that I need to answer that call.
I have started the application process to a couple of universities, and I am overwhelmed with paperwork already, a minuscule problem given the importance of what God has trusted me with. I will spend the next couple of weeks meeting and praying with men of God who will encourage and push me. I know there will be times when I will try to step in for God, and I know there will be times when I fall flat on my face. More importantly than all of that thought, I know the love that God has for me with get back to where I need to be and to keep running the race.
Quick side note, please be praying for Sarah also. This is going to be a difficult time for her as well. There will be times when my studies or ministry will have to come before our marriage and her patience and understanding have blessed me and kept me going so far. Thank you for your time and prayers.

The Next Step

Well, it has certainly been a while since my last post and I apologize for that. A lot has been happening since my last post...joined the army again, preached my first service at "big church", said goodbye to some very close friends, bought a house, painted said house, moved into said house, and still managed to keep Sarah from wanting to hurt me! Now down to business...
Five years ago I joined the army in hopes of being involved in something that was bigger than myself. I wasn't sure what the meant really, but I did know that God was leading me into that direction. I found myself in a world that was totally strange to me, forced to do things that I didn't want to (every kid's worst nightmare), really away from my family from the first time, and totally unknowing of what to do next. What I found was painful, lonely, and something much bigger than myself. I was put into situations where I didn't feel I was ready to lead, but somehow God moved through me and looking back I know that I can see lives were changed.
When Jesus called his disciples, it was very clear. He said to them follow me, and they got up, and did it. I wish I could have had this kind of courage. God has been calling me for many years to do something, something in my mind I am not qualified for in any way. However, it is time that I stand up, and respond to that call.
Starting at the end of this year, I will be attending Indiana Wesleyan University online to obtain my degree in Christian Ministries, which will allow me to fulfill God's call in my life, to become a full time pastor. This is a huge step for me, and to be quite honest I am very scared and humbled by this. I am already over-whelmed by everything that needs to be done to achieve this goal...there is a lot. I know that God will guide my steps through this and that I am within His will for my life.
Please please please be praying with Sarah and me. I have already talked with the lead pastor at the church that I go to, and the next step will be to meet with my local church board a week from Sunday. After that, it is a meeting with my district board and somewhere in between A LOT of paperwork. Thanks for being patient with me in announcing this.

In the quiet...

I spent this past weekend at the third annual church camp out that WWC holds with about 130 in attendance. At first I was a little hesitant. I am a very social person, but find myself overwhelmed by too many people. I am more of a small group kinda guy. I had a good time over all and am very glad I went. You can read more about it here or here.
I had the awesome opportunity to do nothing on Saturday while most everyone else was out floating and making tie dye shirts. Before you ask, nothing tragic happened to me as a kid or anything like that. I am just not a big fan of being in the water. So, instead I took a nap, and awoke to find an empty campsite, surrounded by God's creation. I woke up, cooked a pizza lunchable over the campfire, and really enjoyed the time to myself. Sometimes I find myself so busy between work and learning how to be a good husband that I forget that God is waiting for me. In that peaceful quiet with the birds singing and the fire burning I remembered, painfully remembered, that God is waiting for me.
I took some time to pray to God. I really prayed. I haven't spent that kind of time with God in a while and it really broke my heart. I had become so accustomed to being involved in ministry, being a husband, working, and being with my friends that my priorities had fallen drastically out of place. I have been putting my wife and other relationships before God, and God finally got a hold of me.
I didn't bring a bible with me so as I was being convicted of this, I asked God to just speak with me. I spoke to God and He spoke back and the best way I can describe it is peaceful. God reminded me of the story when Jesus sent His disciples ahead of Him on a boat, so that he could be alone. He reminded me that even the Son of God needed time to be alone, to refocus, to pray, and spend time alone.
I love that God is not insecure. I love that He will allow you to fail, not because God is angry or hurtful, but because He loves us and wants us to learn from our mistakes. I hadn't taken time for me to spend with God, and I hadn't taken time for my wife and me to grow together. I have failed in that up until now. There are times and I need a holy boot to my backside, but God knew this was not one of those time. In His own way, he gently pushed me and showed me where I was coming up short.
So, if you are reading this I would like to challenge you. Where are you missing an opportunity to be with God? He is waiting in the quiet, in the stillness...

What's your Legacy?

Legacy: something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past

Memorial day is usually a bitter-sweet holiday for me. I have known good men and women who are the reason that we celebrate that holiday, and usually find myself mourning their loss. It is also a time for me to look back to see where I have been and look forward to where I am going. I have found myself asking that question as of late; where is my life going? I have always wanted to be a part of something that is bigger than just me. I want to be someone who makes a lasting impression on those around me so that each person's life I come in contact with is changed in some lasting way. Unfortunatly, I have done that very thing in a negative way for some people. I also know that God has used me to be a part of His larger plan, and that excities me!
However, I found myself unable to really see what God has in store for me, what direction He wants me to take with my life. This is unsettling for me. The army taught me to not have need to know specifics, but to just accomplish my mission. I don't need to know all the details, but I need to know what the end result should be. I had an awesome oppourtunity to share briefly with a good friend Jennifer Telfer before she heads back to Sudan. It was great to hear over the past few weeks what God is doing in her life. Although talking with her was insipiring, it was also a painful reminder that I have no idea where God wants me right now.
Even until this morning, it was nagging at me, my desire to know what my legacy is going to be; to know the end result for this chapter in my life. And as though God knew exactly what I needed (which He did), two things fell into my lap. The first one was a video that I had forgot about that my pastor created a few months ago. It was just a comforting reminder of what was done without me and that God is the one who needs to run this, not me (video is below).
The second was a couple of verses that I have heard since I was a kid. I know it like the back of my hand, but never paid much attention to it...Jeremiah 29:11-13 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
I want a legacy but it isn't mine, and it never was mine to start with. No one wants to disappear with time, but God is eternal and will never pass with time. He knew me before I was me, and will know me long after I am gone from this earth. I don't need to know where God wants my life, I just need to be ready.

BELIEVE from Ryan Akers on Vimeo.